THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY FALL

A Christmas themed guest blog from Buffy!

———–

When I put my Christmas tree up each year it is a full-fledged production. The “pre-tree” ceremony is a huge deal…cinnamon/nutmeg orange smell good stuffs on the stove, Hawaiian Christmas music dancing through the speakers, every red candle in the house lit and some kind of marinated meat cooking in the stove. And of course, red wine…awwww, I adore Christmas.

This year we sprung for the most magnificent tree I have ever seen. The pine scent immediately permeated through the house and the shape so perfect it was as if it were drawn by a famous artist. It was also the tallest tree that I have ever housed. Hubby is six foot 2 and watching him drag the massive greenery through the living room was humorous to myself and the kids as it towered over him making him appear to be a small child. He wrestled with it nearly knocking over everything in sight.

I rummaged through the attic to find the boxes entitled: CHRISTMAS and gently placed them on the sofa. These precious boxes held ornaments that have been in the family for years. It is always so special looking through them with the children as if for the first time. After hubby finally got the tree situated in the stand, we began the process of unraveling the lights. Every year, I vow to wrap them neatly, but somehow over the course of the time they manage to re-configure themselves into a hot mess. We finally got the lights up and began to strategically place them on the tree. This year, of course a ladder was required.

Finally, we were ready to place the beautiful ornaments. The kids know by now that I am very particular about this process and hubby and I joke that if the boys have wives one day, they will be pleasantly surprised that they know to put the small bulbs in the middle of the tree for the sake of depth. They are also methodical about shapes, colors and sizes. Very impressive for 8 and 9 year old boys!

After all two thousand four hundred and sixty-five ornaments are on the tree, hubby climbed on the top of the ladder placing the sparkly red star on the tiptop limb. In staying with our family tradition, I then switched the music from Hawaiian Christmas, to Nat King Cole. The kids scurried to turn off all of the lamps leaving only the magic of the tree lights and candles glowing in the room.

We all sat around together very pleased with our accomplishment until it was time for bed. The smells, the lights, the glitter…was overwhelming. Such a peaceful time together as a family. Very few times do our children truly take in moments as if they were adults, but this was one of them. Until…

As if in slow motion, taking what seemed like five long minutes…the glorious, magnificent, ornament packed tree came crashing to the ground.

We all stared at the floor in complete shock and nobody spoke a word. Many things were going through my mind at that moment but somewhere in my warped imagination the predominate visual was humorous. I had a hilarious image of a drunken beauty pageant queen decorated with rhinestones and a studded crown, massive protruding breasts situated in a low cut shiny dress… sitting at the dinner table with all of her male admirers…laughing and smiling just before the alcohol took it’s toll…her face plopping directly in the middle of her plate of mashed potatoes. Passed out there in her plate just like my tree on the floor.

Irony. Life drips with it…and if it weren’t for that beauty queen in my imagination, I would have been broken hearted. But just like the male admirers helped the beauty queen out of the mashed potatoes, we picked up the tree, put the Hawaiian music back on and started all over.

I chose to look at the situation with the glass half full. THIS year, I got to put up my Christmas tree… the thing that I adore each year…not once, but twice. And of course, I had an excuse for another glass of red wine. Tis the season to be…jolly?

Comments are closed.

-->